An Interview with Daniel Radcliffe
Posted: November 30, 2001
The byline for this article was removed at the request of the author to protect him from the forces of the Man. Specifically, so he could get a job working for the Man without the Man knowing that he hates and mocks the Man's cultural productions in the form of fake interviews.
The Fed, which being a largely anonymous collective does not fear for its future employment, goes on record saying that Harry Potter and Everyone Involved In It sucks balls.
He's the newest Hollywood sensation, the kid we can't get enough of, the soon-to-be 200 million dollar man, the biggest child acting sensation since Jonathan Lipnicki. The silver screen would have us believe that Daniel Radcliffe is an adorable bespectacled moppet, the spitting image of the cover art on every copy of J.K. Rowling's best-selling Harry Potter books. In real life, however, Daniel Radcliffe gives off a cool East-Village-by- way-of-North-London vibe, and is much more sure of himself than poor little Harry. When I first encounter Radcliffe sitting outside Manhattan's trendy The Park restaurant, he's got a three-day beard and is in the process of pinching a waitress' ass. No slouch, this kid. In an exclusive Fed interview, Daniel Radcliffe (a.k.a. Harry Potter), gives us the dish on what it's like to be young and running wild in the playgrounds of Hollywood.
The Fed: Daniel, hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Let me start off by saying I really enjoyed you in the role of Harry Potter.
D.R.: Thanks, dog.
The Fed: You must have felt a tremendous amount of responsibility on your shoulders, what with all the legions of Harry fans out there.
D.R.: To a certain degree... yes. But you know what? I'm me, O.K.? And I can't feel responsible to a bunch of other people, I just can't. You know what I'm saying? I'm an actor, I PERFORM, that's what I do.
The Fed: Right, but I'm just thinking that you must have felt some pressure, especially from the studio.
D.R. : Yeah, initially the head of production from Warner's would drop by the set every other day to check on things and that really bothered me. I can't have some fucking suit looking over my shoulder all the time, know what I'm saying? So I called my agent and just said "look, this is really not cool. Put things right". Click. You know what I'm saying?
The Fed: Absolutely. You're an artist and they need to respect that. Now that the movie is out and breaking all kinds of records, do you find that people in the industry are treating you differently?
D.R.: Oh for sure. All of a sudden, I'm getting all these offers to play wizards or eleven-year-old boys who see ghosts. People in Hollywood aren't terribly creative. They wanted me to do a buddy-cop thing with Martin Lawrence, but his career is on probation until Black Knight comes out, so we'll see. But my cache, my star power 'round this bitch, has shot way the fuck up. >From this point on, it's "fuck you" money anytime I work for a studio (pauses to light up a Marlboro) ... but you know what? I'm not in this for the money, really I'm not. This is how I express myself artistically as, you know, an artist, and that's what's most important, know what I'm saying? As a matter of fact, I'm shooting an independent film in three weeks.
The Fed: Really?
D.R. : Yeah, it's called "Bumfuck", and it's directed by Larry Clark [writer of Kids] It's this little flick where I play Parker Posey's boyfriend and we're in like a ... one of those ... really complicated relationships where one person is an ex-junkie struggling to get their life together and the other person is this overly sensitive caregiver type person who is, you know, incredibly allergic to nuts. One of those low budget kinda things. I don't want people to think I've gone Hollywood and fucking sold out ... (takes a long drag on his cigarette) I'm still just me. Know what I'm saying?
The Fed: I've been reading a lot about you in the press lately, living it up, going to all kinds of parties ... You're currently dating the Olsen Twins, right?
D.R.: I don't like to talk about my personal life but yeah, they my ladies. We met at a Vanity Fair party right after I was on the cover in October. I really like them because they know how to handle the whole fame thing. That was a wild party, man, let me tell you. You know that fucked up Eskimo-looking chick from the Victoria's Secret catalogue? Yeah, she was there. Some of those model chicks are bangin', man ... For the past couple of months, I've just had all kinds of hoes throwing themselves at me and, you know what, I'll admit that I was into it at first. Having orgies with a bunch of Russian models in my trailer, staying up late hanging out with Charlie Sheen and shit, who wouldn't enjoy that? But I'm settling down now...although I still can't settle on just one Olsen (laughs)!
The Fed: Hey, more power to you. Lastly, I just wanted to ask you about a rumor I heard, something about you and Master P doing an album?
D.R.: Yeah, that's pretty much true. P wants me to guest on Lilí Romeo's new album and I'm going to the studio next week to drop some rhymes. See, a lot of people don't know that. They think I just appeared out of nowhere, this kid who looks like Harry Potter. But I've been rapping for years, making mix tapes with my friends, shit like that. Anyway, somebody at No Limit got a hold of one of the tapes and I get this call saying that P wants me on Romeo's next album. I was like, for real? But yeah, there's a whole lot to Daniel Radcliffe that people don't know about ... (smiles mysteriously).
And with that, Radcliffe bids me goodbye, lights up another smoke, and hops into a waiting Lincoln Navigator, blasting GangStarr as his driver peels out. Harry Potter might live in fear of the evil Lord Voldemort, but Daniel Radcliffe is clearly Ready To Die.
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